It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

New dad question

page: 1
10
<<   2  3 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:41 PM
link   
How long is everything I do in regards to the baby is wrong?

Warm up the milk for him... its to hot its to cold..

You did the diaper to tight..

You didn't use enough diaper rash crème...

She is 150% zeroed in on the kid and we are coming up on 1 month and she still hasn't seen the doc for her follow up, or gotten anything else done that she needs to get done because she doesn't want to be away from the baby for 1 second.

I literally have to push her into bed so she can get 4 hours sleep, and god forbid I let her sleep for 5 or 6 hours and feed the kid from her bottled breast milk.

The kid has only gotten on my nerves one time so far... the wife on the other hand...

So any tips, suggestions, or advice are seriously appreciated.




posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:48 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf


You need to put her in her place.
I'm not kidding either.
It's for her own good. If she doesn't get the proper rest she will get sick easier and the baby will suffer. Explain it to her that she needs the right died to produce good milk and she also needs the right sleep.

Some mothers got bat # crazy on their first baby.
There is also post partem depression you need to keep an eye out for.



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:51 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf


Are you warming up the bottles in a pan?

Never microwave them.

You’re going to be sleep deprived for awhile.

Do you have any other relatives/friends that can offer to come by and try to ease her mind about you watching the baby so she can go to her follow up appt. I took my son with me and his grandmother watched him in the waiting room for me. Maybe you could offer to do that.

She’s a mama bear, I totally get it.

Maybe, you could help with other things like dinner, laundry.




edit on 11-10-2018 by KTemplar because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:52 PM
link   
Just be glad she loves your child. She is most likely chalked full of hormones. Try to be forgiving and patient. It will settle down in time. If you struggle coping take some time our with your guy friends and try to have some of her girlfriends visit her regularly she just is worried about failing the baby and failing you. Hope this helps.



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:52 PM
link   
Leave for three days. If you get bitched at when you come back leave for another three days. I wouldn't necessarily listen to me though. However, I haven't been bitched at in years. Since I've been single that is. This was an attempt at humor because you need some and I commiserate, Sir.



edit on 11-10-2018 by The GUT because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:57 PM
link   
a reply to: The GUT

Leave a hormonal lady alone with a new baby for three days....

Probably why your single...



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 08:59 PM
link   

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: The GUT

Leave a hormonal lady alone with a new baby for three days....

Probably why your single...



lol, I’m surprised he’s not dead



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:04 PM
link   
Almost every dad I’ve ever known is technically scared of the baby for the first six months. They always figure they will do something wrong.

You will catch up after six months and by two years you will be doing everything right . ( and enjoying the hell out of it )

As far as the wife correcting you. I would venture to guess you haven’t been married that long and haven’t figured out you are always wrong .



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:06 PM
link   

originally posted by: Irishhaf
How long is everything I do in regards to the baby is wrong?

Warm up the milk for him... its to hot its to cold..

You did the diaper to tight..

You didn't use enough diaper rash crème...

She is 150% zeroed in on the kid and we are coming up on 1 month and she still hasn't seen the doc for her follow up, or gotten anything else done that she needs to get done because she doesn't want to be away from the baby for 1 second.

I literally have to push her into bed so she can get 4 hours sleep, and god forbid I let her sleep for 5 or 6 hours and feed the kid from her bottled breast milk.

The kid has only gotten on my nerves one time so far... the wife on the other hand...

So any tips, suggestions, or advice are seriously appreciated.


First off, sometimes everything you do is wrong, at first. That child is # 1 and you fail at second place.

Next, make sure she attends all doctor appointments. They will accommodate the baby.

Try to make sure she gets enough sleep and that she can rely on you to take up the slack.

Second, your life is over as you know it, only dedicated to the child first and the wife second.

Third, your life no longer matters, only the child and mother. That is the center of your universe now.

Welcome to being a dad, it only goes downhill from here.

Good luck !




posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:08 PM
link   
a reply to: Fallingdown

My wife has always said that nothing is sexier than a man with baby drool on his shoulder.



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:08 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf

First babies are hard on everyone involved because the majority of new mothers are like little Hitlers (and yes, I am a mother). New moms feel like they are under a lot of pressure to do everything perfectly lest their baby grow up to be a seriel killer or something.

Don't fret! She will eventually burn out- just give her a couple of months. Give her a few more weeks and then make arrangements for one of the grandparents to stay with the baby while you take mama out for dinner (she will protest but put your foot down and make it happen). She will be constantly calling and checking in on the little one but let it slide. Do this again in a couple of more weeks. She will still call to check on the little one but not as often. A few weeks later make it dinner and a movie. By this time she will be more relaxed and only check on baby once or twice. Before you know it she has figured out the baby will actually live if she isn't constantly by its side oozing perfection and she will definitely ease up on how you do things.

Also, order wine with dinner- it helps!



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:11 PM
link   

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: Fallingdown

My wife has always said that nothing is sexier than a man with baby drool on his shoulder.


Did she want a full nights sleep by any chance ?



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:31 PM
link   
a reply to: Fallingdown

Oh yeah



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:33 PM
link   

originally posted by: KTemplar

lol, I’m surprised he’s not dead


Me too!!



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:40 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf

Expect to do nothing perfectly either with your child or your wife. Also, act with love, speak with love, and try your best to think with love. All frustrations you feel are valid but unproductive. Let go of them. You are in the greatest moments, years of your life. The dust settles and you have this remarkable gift of a child that will bring you incredible joy and heartache for the rest of your life. Focus on the good. There are tons of parents that don't give a wit about their children. Be grateful that your wife isn't one of them.



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:50 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf




How long is everything I do in regards to the baby is wrong?

Until they become middle - aged.

Simple answer
Spoken from experience.

edit on 10/11/18 by Gothmog because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 09:58 PM
link   
I typically do the chores right now because she does the lions share of work with the baby, I have put my foot down for this weekend.

I got something I have to do 1 day and I told her the other day she is getting out of the house and going to spend at least 4 hours at her favorite game store, that I could handle the kid and the house for that long.

Believe it or not we have been married 11 years, the minion arrived 3 hours after our anniversary so I made sure to say happy anniversary during labor and asked her if she liked the gift I got her... thank god for the drugs or I would probably be dead.

My big concern is her health, I know she is going to be super focused on the kid, and I am aware as she recovers from teh C section she will be more susceptible to illness.

I have to say I am stunned by how much the minion has changed my outlook on the world, I will never be a super positive person but I went from only pondering how to survive an apocalyptic scenario... to looking forward to seeing what is to come as I watch him grow.

Thank you everyone for the replies, I had to vent somewhere and get it off my chest so it didnt build up.



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 10:08 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf


You sound like a great dad and husband.

Make sure she gets plenty of vitamin Bs, and eats healthy.

What you’re going thru is pretty common. Keep a sense of humor



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 10:20 PM
link   

originally posted by: Irishhaf
How long is everything I do in regards to the baby wrong?


At least the first 6 years. That's where I'm at now, still going wrong and strong. I learned to fight back against my wife several years ago. War is hell.



posted on Oct, 11 2018 @ 10:20 PM
link   
a reply to: Irishhaf

Congrats to you and your wife!

Just be cautious of any postpartum issues - compulsive thoughts ("something bad might happen to the baby"), excessive tears, feelings of being overwhelmed, over-reactions.

I'm sorry to hear you are getting such flack. This is your baby too, but I understand that she is in protective and tired mode. She has to rest when the baby rests - that's all there is to it. My husband would take baby to the park and allow me to get some sleep. You might offer to do something like that which is wonderful bonding time for you and baby while Mom gets some needed rest and a break from baby. She may feel like she wants every moment with baby but she will be recharged if she gets those breaks on top of the rest she should be getting too.

healthywa.wa.gov.au...




top topics



 
10
<<   2  3 >>

log in

join